Bernard King's Crown

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Swingers, College Freshmen And The Concept Of Being Money


Because college is almost here for my friends and I, I’m gonna try and be motivational/quasi-motivational. I’m not Ray Lewis when it comes to motivating people, but here goes it anyways

"Swingers," to the consensus of people, is a goof movie; the title does speak for itself in some sense. But at the same time, it’s a cult classic and is one of the funniest movies ever made in my opinion. It’s one of my favorite movies along with a shit ton of other movies, like Caddyshack and Beverly Hills Cop. 

For people that haven’t seen the movie, because I’m gonna talk about the two main characters in the film and a certain scene containing both of them, I’ll give a brief description for the two characters I’m gonna talk about right now: Mike Peters and Trent Walker.  

Mike Peters is a nervous wreck that is trying to recuperate from a breakup that had happened 6 months earlier with his girlfriend of 6 years. Mike is played by Jon Favreau. On the other hand, Vince Vaughn, the-start-of-his-prime Vince Vaughn, played the role of Trent Walker, a vivacious as all hell dude that is best friends with Mike. To add on to his vivacious trait, he’s repulsive when he’s loud in public, just like people are when they’re on their phones in public, particularly on a train. Also, Trent is hysterical as fuck.

(Okay, that was my brief description of both characters. Watch the scene…I’ll be waiting)

Done? Cool!

Mike is a nervous, pessimistic wreck throughout the film, but he hits his apex in that clip. Trent then says one of my favorite quotes ever that is recurring gag in the film:

"You’re so money and you don’t even know it!"   

I know, it sounds weird, because Mike is out of college in the film and flung around with his girlfriend in college. Trent points out that Mike is the nervous wreck he is by saying “your self-esteem is low because of somebody else” and “thinking about it all the time is depressing and no good.” He’s deciphered Mike like a cheap novel.     

It’s normal to feel the way Mike was feeling in that scene, emotionally unstable, unwanted, volatile and incredibly morose. Ask people, somebody like Mike, that have experienced a breakup before. It’s a learning experience, but one of the most excruciating, arduous experiences in that person’s lifetime. People that have felt the pain will probably tell you that. 

Think of Mike’s feelings in the scene as high school and Trent’s advice as college. If you’re having bad memories of high school, like Mike’s breakup, then college is probably/definitely the thing for you. 

For people that already started college or people that are about to start college in the next week/week and a half or so, you have tons of money in you (don’t worry, I’m not talking about student loans). As much as I don’t wanna say it, because high school treated me like a family member, people have to cut ties with high school and get together with college. 

The lion’s share of college freshmen, me included in lots of aspects, are all Mike Peters. I’m still having trouble letting go of high school, and, if you really loved the experience like me, 12 years in a public school district (districts if you’ve moved around from place to place). The first-rate, efficacious teachers, the irrefutable influence those teachers gave me/you will never be forgotten, but, unfortunately, time drifts us away from them.

Now, I’m definitely not saying “screw high school to the 9th degree,” I’m saying all college freshmen will be acquiescing to college regardless and the change of scenery. It’ll really translate when you’re in college. Thankfully, I’m staying at a community college that’s roughly 10 minutes away from my house. This is particularly for the people that are going away to college (maybe a blink-182 reference was intended), but it can apply to pretty much any incoming freshman.            

Ron da Gawd:

Watch this scene, in which Ron convinces Mike to propel away from his prior relationship.

Done with that too? Okay, (before Jay-Z, Drizzy and Soulja Boy rapped about making it) cool!

I forgot to mention Ron above, who is played by Ron Livingston of Band of Brothers and Office Space fame. Ron is another friend of Mike’s, who is also feeling the same temperamental pain as Mike, a relationship he’s trying to desperately get out of while making the trip to Los Angeles to roam around the swinging scene with Mike.

My favorite quote from the scene is this one: 

"The future is beautiful. Look out the window; it’s sunny everyday here…it’s like manifest destiny don’t tell me we didn’t make it, we made it…we are here…everything that is past is prologue to this." 

Then another quote: 

"You wake up everyday and it hurts a little bit less and you wake up one day and it doesn’t hurt at all…you almost miss that pain.

Then Mike asks:

"Do you miss the pain?"

In which Ron replies:

"…You’ve lived with it for so long”

(I should have quoted the whole scene, because it’s so damn good)

I’m a lot like Ron, in that we’re both optimists about life in general, we’re forward-lookers and we’re upfront about things. Honestly, who would want to be a glass half empty pessimist like Mike? There needs to be less Mike Peters’ and more Ron’s in this world. 

Maybe a college freshman will approach their first semester like Ron did with his nagging relationship; I probably will approach my first semester like that. But for a lot of people, they’re nervous nellies, which is absolutely normal. I’m still a little nervous about it, because, again, high school treated me like a family member and it’s hard to drift away from a learning sanctuary, but it’s rudimentary human nature. If somebody doesn’t have jitters about the first day of college/school, first day of a brand spankin’ new job or performing in front of people, particularly playing music or performance artists (I still have massive stage fright; everybody’s got stage fright in them), then there might be something wrong with that person. It’s like listening to Adele while happy. 

This goes back to being money and not knowing that you’re full of money. Us college freshmen should grasp things to no avail like we did in high school, which is a huge component of being money. But perhaps the biggest part of being money is doing what you truly love to do and, as Oscar Wilde once said:

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken"

(Picture of Dorian Grey was decent).

I’ve been undecided and lost for my whole life on knowing what I want to do with my life, but I still love what I do, which consists of watching, playing and writing about sports, playing and listening to music, watching movies/TV (like Swingers, heh), regardless if the films or shows are timeless or atrocious heaping piles of crap, talking about pop culture, spitting out random info that no one needs to know, making people smile et al. The interests come in an abundance. 

Once you go away to college, remember that you are money. Think like Trent Walker and Ron. Don’t think like Mike Peters’ psyche or else your money will be taken away from you.  

18 years and kicking

Sometimes, I feel sentimental about certain things. Whether the concerns are about family, friends, school (segue has been set up), my favorite professional sports teams losing each year at alarming rates (as of this writing, not Arsenal) or anything else, it’s normal, it’s basic human nature.

But today is probably the day I’ll be sentimental at maximum levels (alright, the segue is coming up soon). Why? Well, Alice Cooper said it best: I’m 18.  

We’ve all dabbled in the field of hypocrisy at many points in our lives; everybody still does. I’m saying this because whenever my mom (occasionally my dad, but not much) and I would engage in conversation during my senior year of high school, she would constantly say the same exact following phrases (an assorted variety of words, actually) every time I talk to her and I would scold and groan every time she said them. What are these phrases I’m talking about? “I can’t believe you’re finishing high school.” Or “It’s incredible you’re almost 18.” Or “You’re almost fully grown up!” And a copious amount of other variations. You could play around with a dictionary and add words into the phrases if you want. 

Well, Mom, guess what? I can’t believe I finished high school; it is absolutely incredible that I’m 18 years old and I am grown up (I don’t know how I feel about this…more on that in a little bit). I’m a hypocrite, but in the best way possible (I know, it sounds a little outlandish. Al Gore won’t be saying that anytime soon).

It’s difficult to write about a life event with such colossal magnitude attributed to it. My usual self is talking about, playing, sports and music, watching movies, making people laugh, whether the people are close friends or people I don’t know, and doing other random stuff, like, I don’t know, spitting out shit from my brain that’s infested with obscure references that pertain to my following interests and musings.

Now that I’m 18, a time where I’ll be reminiscing more than Pete Rock and C.L Smooth (see, the references bit…), it’s the perfect time to start reminiscing in full swing.

I’ve reminisced a ton of times, but not as much as the summer of 2014. There’s no such disease, but Post High School Graduation Reminiscing Syndrome should be classified as one, because, holy Aunt Jemima Batman, I’m already flashing back to graduation and the last days of high school, for the lack of a better cliche, like it was yesterday. It’s a secret epidemic to class-of-2014 high school graduates and all future graduates. Honestly, we can all attest to it. Ask the people that are having midlife crises relapses after combating previous ones.  

Never has there been a point in my life where I drowned in my own tears (aside from my infancy stages) in abundances. Literally. Nah, I ain’t talking about the ending to “Titanic;” the last days of high school were so nerve-wracking that I had to hold in my eye rivers, particularly the very last day. The mission was a success, until I broke out in tears when one of my best friends I’ve known for 6 years as of this writing (by the way, here’s her blog) sulked hysterically and gave me an elongated hug. Maybe that was the best failure of a mission I could have asked for.

The most significant thing I’ve taken out of 18 years of life on earth is trying to be the most happy guy on earth (maybe not, considering that one of my favorite Jimmy Eat World songs is “Pain”). It was, and still is, difficult for me to have a legitimate set of goals to build on. As I said above, making people laugh is what I love to do. My Dad, like the positive influence parents should be, is responsible for that. I pretty much inherited his mindset, personality and anything that’s related to his personality, like eerily similar mannerisms, dad jokes, stuff like that. Ditto with sports (I’ve written about it on here before). That’s definitely the stuff I’m most thankful for, indubitably. Nothing will trump my Dad’s overall influence on me anytime soon and it probably won’t be trumped ever (also, with the addition of great friends).        

Trash talking about other people in real life/on the interwebs about people in real life (unless the person/people are gargantuan jackasses, then I would) is, and never will be, my kinda thing. No matter who’s parents said it, because every pair of parents, married, divorced, estranged or whatever, have probably said the old saying “if you don’t have anything nice to say; then don’t say anything.”

Aside from trying to be the most happiest guy out there, I’m more humble than I am happy. People have told me that I know literally everything (obviously, I don’t) because of my wealth of knowledge. But I always felt a completely different way when people said that; it made me look like hot shit, which I’m the antithesis of. Muhammad Ali famously said “I’m the greatest!” after he beat Sonny Liston, because he truly was, and still is, the greatest (debatable, but I think he is, because, you know, it’s Muhammad Ali). 

I started to take the remark as a complement recently, because high school is over, adulthood just bit me in the ass and I don’t have to worry about people saying it anymore, unless somebody sarcastically said it to me. 

18 years of life has also shown that nothing vexes me more than a pompous half-wit that slings crap, whether the conceited person trash talks about a certain friend/acquaintance, or saying that he/she is the greatest like Ali. Once you become the greatest, you can choose to become that self-centered asshole you wanted to be. That’s not going to be me ever, so the best thing to do is to stay humble.    

Here are a list of reasons why I’m a happy guy:

  • I love my family
  • I love my friends
  • Little kids look up to me as a role model
  • Friends and family have told me I’ve impacted their lives greatly
  • I unexpectedly appeared on “The Long Island Challenge,” a game show, in 11th grade.
  • I self-taught myself guitar and have been playing for 6 years and counting (thanks, Cousin Tommy and Eddie Van Halen) and played in a band throughout high school, which was tons of fun
  • Seeing the U.S Men’s National Team as a collective in person before their World Cup trip to Brazil
  • Seeing the Mets in the World Series at least once in my lifetime (hopefully that’ll happen again sooner or later. Same with seeing the Knicks and Jets in the Finals and Super Bowl. Jets came close, too).
  • To build on that, witnessing two playoff games at Queens’ demolished baseball sanctuary, Shea Stadium, including quite possibly my favorite sport moment ever, seeing Endy Chavez’s catch live.  
  • I still have a lot of random trivia/info/awesome stuff lodged inside my cranium
  • I’m an optimist
  • Writing this post
  • A plethora of other reasons. It’s insurmountable for me to list every single reason. I would have to write a book, particularly a memoir, for you to discover every reason why I’m a happy dude 

The feeling of being 18 does feel very weird. I couldn’t have asked for a better childhood than the one I had. So many awesome moments, so many awesome times, so many interesting experiences later, here I am writing this post. 

This thing called college is upon my friends and I, (for some, a week or two, for others, myself included, in September) which will be fun in lots of aspects, but right now, I gotta maintain my Post High School Graduation Syndrome. I need to keep it in tact for the next couple of weeks, because, if I don’t keep it in tact, I’ll be sulking like I did on the last day of high school. 

Alright, I gotta go and be an adult now. I’ll miss you, childhood. As mothers on Facebook would say, “Hugs and kisses xoxoxo!” I gotta frame that quote on my room wall next to my Shoeless Joe Jackson print. Take care (possible Drizzy reference intended).



Koko the gorilla is a resident at the Gorilla Foundation in Woodside, CA and communicates understands spoken english and uses over 1,000 signs to share her feelings and thoughts on daily life. After the first call about Robin’s passing, Koko came to Dr. Patterson with an inquiring look on her face. Dr. Patterson explained that ‘we have lost a dear friend, Robin Williams. Koko was quiet and looked very thoughtful, Koko signed the words for “woman” and “crying.” Koko became very somber, with her head bowed and her lip quivering; she was crying over the loss of her friend.



"Robin made Koko smile — something she hadn’t done for over six months, ever since her childhood gorilla companion, Michael, passed away. Not only did Robin cheer up Koko, the effect was mutual, and Robin seemed transformed — from a high-energy entertainer, into a mellow, sensitive, empathetic guy, who also happened to be really funny." -Dr. Patterson 


I’m crying

oh god this is just so adorable and cute and amazing

(Source: zuzuhiddles, via onlylolgifs)